Out of fight/flight.

Fight/flight is a stress response from the nervous system.

When it gets a stimulus that is a threat to our safety, whether physical, emotional, mental or financial, it activates the mode automatically. The fort gates go up, the troops are in place. Anything or everything is perceived as a threat.

And all of this is good. Because it is to protect you.

The only issue is that this system evolved mainly for physical threats like physical injury, a predatory attack or starvation. And not for the modern threats like an angry email (real or imaginary) from a boss or a rejection on a dating app.

In case of a physical threat, there is a switch off button. You run away from the predator and, hopefully, out run it. You check your surroundings and once you feel safe, you can let go of the defence mode. The body goes back to normal.

But in case of non-physical threats, the body never gets the signal even if the threat is gone. Just like a paranoid war general, it keeps looking at anyone and everyone as a threat. And the more it does it, the more paranoid it gets.

The way out is physical, physiological, not psychological. A deer can't think its way out of fight/flight. Neither can we.

What we need to do is what a deer would do. Sigh. Take deep breaths. Exhale longer than the inhales. Let the body release the stress. Let it move, stretch, go in awkward movements. And give it a low hum voice to calm it down just like we do when we are helping a baby go to sleep.

Fight/flight is not only expensive for the body, it leads to bad decision making. Switch it off first and then use the calm mind to figure out what you need to figure out.