Angry dogs and bears.

The fight or flight (or yellow) mode is like an angry dog running after you, trying to hurt you. And you are either running or fighting it to get to safety. (This is also called sympathetic activation in the polyvagal theory of the nervous system.)

If that's the case, you are unlikely to make good decisions. All you can do is run as hard as you can and take the next corner you can see.

Red is one level deeper. It's the freeze (or flop) mode. This is akin to seeing a bear outside your window. You can't outrun it. You can't fight it. You just freeze. (It's called a dorsal vagal collapse.)

And much like yellow, your calm, intelligent mind is not focused on making intelligent choices. It's busy trying to keep you alive.

Of course, most of our angry dogs and bears are imaginary, or at least delayed. But that doesn't mean they don't trigger the same response. Rather, because they are imaginary, we tend to keep triggering the response again and again.

So, the first thing to do is to come to green. A place where we feel safe. This one's called ventral vagal.

How do we come to green?

We start by becoming aware that we are in yellow or red.

Then we do what we would do if we were actually safe. If we outrun the dogs, we will scan our surroundings to see that they are truly gone. And we would breathe deeply and sigh.

And if we are safe from the bear, we will again check that it's no longer there and again heave a big sigh.

That's the physiological sign to the nervous system that we are safe.

And once we are safe, we can start making better decisions.