Notes to myself. 1. It might not be about you. 2. You are more effective when you are at peace. 3. We all make stories to hide our fear. 4. Dress the way you want to feel. 5. Remove unnecessary conflict from your life. 6. Helplessness creates trauma. 7. It's hard
Charging the battery. You can't charge your phone by plugging it into itself. You need an outside source. What charges you? Books, podcast, conversations, nature, physical activity? What else? Also, what drains your energy? What would help you let that go?
Demystifying self-compassion. If your friend was going through what you are going through, what would you say to her? If you were helping a kid navigate the situation you are in, how would you approach it? If someone you care for was in your shoes, what would you recommend them to do?
Intention or chance? Things worth doing need to be done with intention. They rarely happen through chance. And even if they do, do you want to leave it up to chance?
The trap of avoiding risk. Risk is usually looked on as a negative word. Taking risks is associated with being careless. "This is risky". "Avoid taking a risk". We usually look at risk as a binary choice: all-in or fold. In both cases, the outcome that we don't play
Finding the way back. Getting back on the track is a different challenge than staying on the track. It's less about acceleration and more about navigation. Once we are on the highway, we can speed up, but until then it helps to focus on just getting back on it. One thing at
Writing the perfect blog. The perfect stops us from writing. It creates an ideal that we want to reach. We move away from “being a contribution” and towards some unachievable, unexplainable ideal. And not matter what we do, we can’t match it. It could be our previous work. Or it could be the
Getting out of the ditch. Resistance doesn't like change. Big change, small change, any change. It will keep us engaged in unnecessary details, complications, analysis as long as it can stop us from moving forward. It seems obvious when someone else is facing this. But when we are in the ditch, it'
Emotional heavy lifting. You can't lift 40 kgs if you have the strength to lift only 30. What you can do is to build your strength gradually and become someone who can lift 40. Worrying about 40 and beating yourself up over it isn't going to help you get
Listening to the body "Mind over matter" seems like a profound advice. But matter, specifically the body, has intelligence. And as Martha Beck teaches, the essential self uses the body to communicate. We live in a culture where listening to the mind is prioritized over listening to the body. But we can
Breaking down identity. I am this, this, this, therefore I do this, this, this. I am this, this, this, therefore I don't do this, this, this. I am afraid of this, this, this... therefore, I do this, this, this. I am afraid of this, this, this... therefore, I shy away from
Minimum effective mindset. The keyword here is effective. If it isn't effective, minimum doesn't help. It requires us to be clear about the "What's it for?" and then figure out what's the minimum that will get us there. A spaceship is meant to
Blank page syndrome. Sitting with the blank page is uncomfortable. One, we are not sure what to write and two, we start doubting if we can write. This discomfort offers us a choice: stay or leave. Most people choose to leave. Professionals choose to stay. They understand that the discomfort might last a
Once, again. One workout doesn't change anything. It might make you feel better (or worse). But by itself, it has no significant impact on the body. A hundred workouts do. The catch is that you can't reach a hundred without the one. Starting (or restarting) - getting the
Time to recover. Cutting short the time to recover slows down the whole process. Whether it is the time to recover for the muscles after a workout, or for a person after an illness or for a team after a project. Recovery helps us get into prime form to deliver the goods again.
Getting back on track. Sooner or later, we might get off track. Our strategy, our routine, our systems might fall out of place. The tendency then is to try to do something extraordinary to make up for the off-time, to make up for what we missed. That's a trap and it leads
Compass calibration. Is your compass aligned with where you seek to go? If not, can you identify what's needed to get it pointing to true north? It feels tempting to keep going without taking the time to calibrate the compass. But unless we start moving in the right direction, more
The way things are... Excerpt From The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander & Ben Zander: But what if there is no apparent way out? The practice of "the way things are" is to be present to the way things are, including our feelings about the way things are. This practice
Being your most audacious self. What would your most audacious self choose? What would it let go of? What would it not be worried about? When we start making choices that our most audacious self would, we start becoming our most audacious self?
The dance of urgency and patience. Emotional labour requires us to dance with urgency and patience. The urgency to move forward while making space for fear to breathe. The more space we make for fear, the less it drives our decision making.
Being too strategic. "Hermione! When have any of our plans ever actually worked? We plan, we get there, all hell breaks loose!" ~ JK Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows "You are being too strategic." "Let's just jump in and see how it goes." "
What do you want? It's easier to ask than to answer. When we are asked to say it aloud, we can go from "Isn't it obvious?" to "I am not sure what I want." in a matter of seconds. Asking "What do you want?"
If you want to... Change happens with intent. We can't force it. Without enrollment, it just won't work. It doesn't matter how good we are. Enrollment starts with listening to what someone wants. Especially if that person is ourselves. "If you want to" offers agency and
One action at a time. That's how we move forward. That's how we ship projects. That's how we make things better. It's tempting to try and solve everything at the same time. But effectiveness comes from identifying and shipping one thing at a time.
Perceptual maps & change. We perceive only the sensations we are programmed to receive, and our awareness is further restricted by the fact that we recognize only those for which we have mental maps or categories. ~ The Art of Possibility, Rosamund Stone Zander & Ben Zander Our perception of reality is dependent on the
