Saying no.

The social self is not comfortable in saying no. It will persuade us with rationalisations to say yes even when all our self wants to say no. The most often used rationalisation is "what harm will this do?" Saying no is a skill. And it's one

What do you buy?

You think you buy a soap, or a phone or a car. You think you buy the features or the benefits. But all we are buying every time is a story. Sometimes the story is boring, so we don't tell anyone, and it dies. And sometimes the story

There's no time.

Our mind is not designed to process time. When it sees trouble, it wants to find a solution instantly. After all, if we take too much time, the lion will eat us. So, we don't give ourselves breathing space. Everything feels urgent, and so everything becomes urgent. If

Surgical.

Years ago, my favourite commentator Harsha Bhogle said this during an India Pakistan test match: "There's a surgeon at one end and a butcher at the other." Sachin Tendulkar and MS Dhoni were batting together. We can treat resistance like a butcher. Declare war on it.

Tightening the screws.

We all end up doing things that we don't want to do. Whether it's bingeing - food, streaming, substances, whatever, or texting someone we shouldn't text, or just doing something that ruins whatever we planned earlier. We might call this self-sabotage. We feel a

What if...

When we set out to do something creative, there are many whatifs that show up inside our head... * What if I try this thing and it doesn't work out? * What if I invite people and no one shows up? * What if I call my friend and she'

Something wrong.

"There's something wrong with me." How does this thought make you feel? Do you feel resistance or do you agree? Does it feel true? What if you tried something else? Something like: "There's something right with me." How does that feel? How

The leather seats.

When you buy a car, the sales guy will try to sell you a lot of add-ons: the leather seats, the wooden interior and whatnot. The thing is, if you don't buy any of them, you still get a car. What makes a car, a car? What

Without anxiety.

Anxiety can convince us that we need to be with it all the time. Whatever we are anxious about - whether it is work, relationships or health - or something someone said to us, or our favourite sport team losing - or just anything that comes to our attention - anxiety can hold us

Foggy roads.

Foggy roads are different from bumpy roads. Bumpy roads have visibility. Even though the ride is challenging, you can still see where you are going. Where the next turn is coming. Foggy roads need us to trust ourselves and slowly move forward. Find a taillight and follow it. Trust that

Bumpy roads.

Driving on highways is quite straightforward. You know where you are going. You can guess when you'll get there. You have made this trip many times, along with thousands of others. We expect our creative work to feel like driving on a highway - smooth, fast and predictable. But

Yellow, red... and green.

When you wake up, which is the thought you wake up with? "I am in trouble. I need to do something about it." OR "I am not in trouble." Our culture forces us to start our day and live most of it with the first thought,

This is leadership.

Once, when I was in school, one of my teachers was very angry at our class and she was scolding us. As this was happening, a student's pencil box fell on the floor and everything got scattered. We were all frozen, not sure what to do. After all,

Unentangle.

We can't unentangle the mess inside our heads unless we are willing to put them out on paper. When we see the stories, beliefs and the facts that we are carrying, and the actions they lead us to, we can start making the necessary changes. It takes courage

The story of the price.

How much does it cost to make? That's what most artists and freelancers ask when they are trying to price their products and services. The only useful insight here is that price should not be less than the cost. But beyond that, they hardly matter. The customer isn&

Two jobs.

If you don't have a boss, you have two jobs: the boss and the worker. The worker gets the work done. The boss brings in the work. When do you show up as the boss?

After the ball drops.

"I should have already done this." "I don't even know where to start." "There is so much to do." Anxiety shows up in the form of guilt and shame inside our heads. But instead of helping us move things forward, it leads

In trouble.

We live most of our lives as if we are in trouble. As we resolve one, another shows up or we end up inventing it. It might be worth taking a moment to breathe and telling ourselves that "you are not in trouble". Yes, there are things to

Asking what's true.

There are times when the voice inside our heads becomes critical. It points out to tasks not done yet, projects not completed, ideas not acted upon. But it doesn't stop there. The thoughts spiral and soon get into imaginative territory comparing the current situation with an ideal one.

Driving in the fog.

Driving in the fog is tedious. It is a bit unsafe and it requires a lot of focus. Even though you are driving really slow. The tail light of a car ahead of you is the only thing you can hold onto. Driving in the fog is not about getting

Getting what you want.

In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. ~ Oscar Wilde Wishing for abundance is something we get good at... whether it's abundance of money, fame, love, success or anything else. But we don't

Better than you.

This is where self doubt originates, doesn't it? That there's someone better than you who can do what you are doing. Someone who knows more, would care more, would ship faster... would just do better. You don't know who, but for sure, there is

Always on.

A few supposedly normal things we can observe people (including you) doing: Taking a work call from the gym. Having an emotional chat with a friend on WhatsApp while sitting in a work meeting. Browsing random reels on Instagram at 2 am in the night while trying to sleep. All

Enough might not be.

Enough seems virtuous - "I don't want more than what I need. I just need enough." But enough keeps us stuck. If what we have is just enough, anything out of the ordinary can put us in the not-enough category. With enough, we always remain on

Someone else's job.

You can look at the change you seek in the world and think of it as someone else's job. That would allow you to analyse and criticise and condemn. And, of course, be off the hook. For the change that matters, no one is in charge. It'