The calculating self & the central self. From The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander & Ben Zander: The calculating self is concerned for its survival in a world of scarcity. Its voice is a version of the one that announced our arrival here on earth with wails and cries, and then learned to smile coyly
Listen or tell? It's easier to tell. You feel like you have done your job. You have sent the memo. But it doesn't change anything. Listening takes hard work. It involves facing things you might not want to face. It requires you to hold back and not say the
Aligning the team. The first thing to understand and realise is that everyone wants what's best for the whole. If that's not true, we are doomed to begin with. As Richard Schwartz teaches us in his book, there are "No bad parts". But even if it'
The pet-machine spectrum. You expect your MacBook to work a certain way. If it doesn't, it's a crisis. Until you can get it to work again. If your cat behaved the way you expected, you would be surprised. You expect it to do things its own way. You learn
There's all the love in the world. Imagine a new born surrounded by the people who love her. They are all looking at her with all the love in the world. And she is receiving it without any hesitation. Now, imagine yourself in her place. Imagine receiving all the love in the world, and more. If you
What do you do? "What do you do?" is an industrial era question. "What do you create?" is more apt for today's time. We engage with what you create, not what you do. The people who engage with your work might not care if you were the one
The ones who are eager. "We are going there... do you want to come?" This is different from "let me try to convince you why you should come" If you spend most of the time convincing people who are not sure, you might most likely miss the ones who are eager
Saying no. The hard part of focussing is not what you say yes to, it’s what you say no to. Not what you don’t want to do. But the things you want to do but are choosing to say no to.
Emotional deposits. When we do emotional labour, we make a withdrawal on our emotional reserves. And over time, they might get depleted. What helps you add onto your reserves? How can you consciously make space for it? In case you are curious, here's Seth explaining emotional labor: Emotional laborThat’s
An unproductive day. You finish your tasks, check your todo list off, add more stuff to the todo list, and maybe check that off too. And now you have more tasks for the next day. Tasks are overrated, as Seth Godin says. There are people, and technology, that can do tasks in more
Without a project. Life without a project fades to grey. ~ Seth Godin, This is Strategy Projects are messy, chaotic and unpredictable. They change the way things are. And, of course, as Seth says, they might not work. But without a project, we get used to the mind numbing predictability of the status quo.
The secret ingredients of a yoga class. A yoga class is almost always more effective than doing yoga alone. It isn’t about the skill or the knowledge. It’s about the conditions that are created. You go to the yoga studio with intent, at a set time. The teacher guides you on what to do next,
Because you want to. How often do you do things because you want to? Our social selves learn to adapt to what everyone wants. And if we are busy doing what everyone wants, when do we do what we want to do?
Ferrari problems. If you had a Ferrari in your garage, where will you take it? Just because it can go fast, doesn't mean it will tell you where to go. Rather, choosing where to go is now more important than if you didn't have access to this car.
The not so obvious work. Tasks and chores are obvious work, more or less. There is not much to figure out. They might take time to get done. But you know what the output is going to be. Projects are different. You start with an idea and you iterate through it to make it tangible.
Skills or assets? Being able to do accurate calculations used to be a highly valued skill before Excel (or VisiCalc) came out. After Canva, being a good enough graphic designer became worthless. As technology evolves, skills become less valuable. But assets like trust and reliability become more valuable. What are you investing in
Making systemic changes. Systemic changes are different from incremental changes. They impact the way things work going forward. Sometimes they might be small, like moving your desk to where you get more sunlight. It's a small shift but it changes the way you work everyday. The shift we are seeing with
Choosing what to compound. Compounding is more powerful than we might be able to comprehend. But we don't need to understand how it works to be able to use it. We can choose what we want to compound. Debt compounds and so do savings. Negative thoughts compound and so do positive reinforcements.
Rest day. Rest might seem unproductive or sometimes even a hassle. Getting your car serviced. Taking a rest day at gym. Sleeping enough. Taking a vacation. Having a weekly off. Rest allows us to reset. Recalibrate our compasses. Find our feet again. Give our body some breathing space. Constant movement doesn'
99% done... ...is not done. When it's done, we can move forward from it. We can design the next version or move to the next project. A done project is much more valuable than a perfect project that never gets done.
Where to? Maps ask you for a destination. They don't tell you what your destination should be. That's where compass is needed. It helps us figure out which direction we should be moving in. And then we can choose a destination and use a map to get there.
Notes to myself. 1. It might not be about you. 2. You are more effective when you are at peace. 3. We all make stories to hide our fear. 4. Dress the way you want to feel. 5. Remove unnecessary conflict from your life. 6. Helplessness creates trauma. 7. It's hard
Charging the battery. You can't charge your phone by plugging it into itself. You need an outside source. What charges you? Books, podcast, conversations, nature, physical activity? What else? Also, what drains your energy? What would help you let that go?
Demystifying self-compassion. If your friend was going through what you are going through, what would you say to her? If you were helping a kid navigate the situation you are in, how would you approach it? If someone you care for was in your shoes, what would you recommend them to do?
Intention or chance? Things worth doing need to be done with intention. They rarely happen through chance. And even if they do, do you want to leave it up to chance?
