Anxiety isn't fear. In the movie Inside Out 2, the character of fear is kind of smitten by the character of anxiety. It got me wondering how they are related. Aren't fear and anxiety the same thing? Not until I started reading Beyond Anxiety by Martha Beck did I get to
Adjusting the scope. Some days, we have the courage and the creative energy to see how things will evolve over time and how we can bring the change we seek to the world. On other days, it's about managing what's in front of us and getting through to the
Yearning. Not what do you want or what do you need. But, as Martha Beck asks, What do you yearn for? And once you have an answer, how can you create the conditions for that to happen?
The beauty in sadness. Sadness is one of those emotions we are wary of feeling, especially with other people around. It's something the culture tells us not to feel. But sadness in itself is a beautiful emotion. It helps us process grief. The grief could be immense like the loss of a
Pushing through tired. This is what the hustle culture teaches us. Push through the tired. Mind over matter. But "move fast and break things" mostly breaks things fast. Including the ones who do it. Instead, we can listen to the tired. We can breathe and rest. When we care for our
Compass interference. "What would others think? What would they say?" "How would we get it done? What challenges might come in the way?" "Do we have the bandwidth to do this? What else is there?" These seem like constructive questions, questions that might help us make
Reducing ambiguity. That's the hard part. Making assertions, choosing. It might work. It might not. But you have to start somewhere. You have to pick something or someone. It's tempting to want someone else to do this for you, human or AI. But, emotional labour cannot be outsourced.
Without the mess. "Tell me what to do and I will do it." That rarely works. Especially for the things that matter. Projects are messy. Taking an idea, converting it into something meaningful, getting it out the door, everything is messy. There are no instructions. There is no procedure. The only
Speed without direction. It's natural to get off-track. Bad health, social complications, emotional heaviness, or any expected or unexpected situation can take us off our track. The thing with being off track is that we don't remember how we got there. And have no clue how to get back.
Anywhere and anytime. If you can workout anywhere and anytime, you are unlikely to workout anywhere or anytime. Having a space and time for things makes it likely that they'll happen, especially things that make our lives better. This is why "work from home" doesn't really work.
The gift of books. Martha Beck worked for 5 years to write, "Beyond Anxiety" in addition to the 30+ year career that enabled her to write it. She is going above and beyond to teach us to live a full-life beyond anxiety by holding our hand through the journey. Seth Godin wrote
The illusion of control. The desire to control outcomes creates anxiety. Especially outcomes we have little agency over. This doesn't change the outcomes, doesn't affect their likelihood, but it does make the time we spend during the entire process quite miserable. The alternate is to trust. To trust ourselves and
Being busy. Maintaining the status quo is a busy job. It's a cul-de-sac, a dead end. No matter what you do and how much you do, it's never done. Changing the status quo, on the other hand, is different. It requires intention and courage. It's about
Calm as a superpower. There are for sure going to be things that would ruffle your feathers. People behaving in ways that won't make sense. The rub of the green not going your way. Bureaucratic hassles, people driving wrong, things just not going right and whatnot. That's a given. What&
Fill your cup. There is no dearth of things to consume in the world, especially on the internet. There are posts, reels, Netflix documentaries, YouTube videos and what not. You can spend hours, if not days, watching stuff and you won't even scratch the surface. The challenge, though, is that most
Forward motion. Forward motion requires intention. To take a step in the right direction, no matter how small it is. A lot of distractions stand in the way. Most technology businesses are designed to do that. To make a profit from our time, energy and attention. Forward motion can become a habit.
Games without agency. Once you roll the dice, you have little agency over what the outcome's gonna be. However, you can get stuck, vying for a particular outcome, especially when you can't do much to affect it. That's a trap. And it takes your attention away from
Rushing the recovery. If your MacBook stops working and it would take 14 days to repair it, would you rush them and be happy with one that works only 80% of the time? Same with your car. You wouldn't want to rush its service and end up driving something that'
Go or no-go? Is the decision in front of you a go or no-go decision? Do you have a choice? If yes, decide without worrying about the how and when. Figure out if you can choose to not go ahead. Only once it's a go, work on the the logistics, the
Misaligned strategy. You are dependent on or engaging with systems that don't lead to where you seek to go. They create the illusion that you are in-charge and you are buying into the illusion. You are playing games you are not aware of or have little agency over. The games
Good decision, bad outcome. Let's say it looks like it's gonna rain. You decide to take your umbrella with you. And it doesn't end up raining. Did you make a bad decision? Should you not have carried the umbrella? Well, in this case, you might ask, "It
What's pulling you? There are tasks, events, people who you push yourself to go to. You convince, cajole, persuade yourself that it matters and that you can't skip. And in most cases, you come back saying "Never again". But what are the things that pull you? That you can&
Without The Beatles. "Yesterday" is one of my favorite songs from The Beatles. It's beautiful. I don't know how to feel that emotion better if that song isn't there. Four men got together in the 1960s, that's more than 55 years ago now.
Parts and whole. We all have parts. Some good ones. Some, we might feel, not so good ones. Some parts of us are afraid to be vulnerable. They might show up at times. But go back soon enough. Some parts try to protect us. They try their best. It's just that
Something worth looking forward to. Yes, there are challenges, and troubles along the way. Yes, there are distractions too. But the thing that keeps us going is something worth looking forward to. It might be a goal or an achievement. But, more importantly, it's the people who make our life worth living. Here&
